Textual Feeling: Nonsensical Babbling

shitler and i had this conversation while in bed the other night.

i still don't know what it means.

shitler: i'm going to scratch pet you.
me: what the fuck does that mean?
shitler: scratch pets.
me: i feel like that would be more effective with steel wool.  whatever it is.
shitler: my dick is called steel pole.

i feel like he's trying to give me his steel pole in the middle of boxed wine bonging.