1. Once upon a time there were two 'roommates' who enjoyed jack and diet coke. 2. After much thought they knew it was time for their family to grow. They fostered this sweet boy, but didn't expect his food-related expenses to be so high, so they gave him back. 3. The roommates were sad, but nothing that two tickets and a neatly folded throw couldn't fix. 4. The couple decided on adopting a pair of border collies instead. Much less time consuming not to mention cheaper than feeding a kid. 5. That winter was a cold one, so they heated things up with some gasoline, a blow torch, and snow cream. 6. The view, overlooking their snow covered property reminded the couple that they still longed for a family. 7. So they tried with another foster child. This one made her own food. 8. Papa entertained this new bebe with the skills he had learned growing up on the land. 9. And the family was complete; two dudes, one doggie, and a very self-reliant little girl.
Once upon a time there were two men that fell in love. They enjoyed long walks around the lake, tanning on their boat nude, and jack and cokes around a small table. They were vehemently against sitting on furniture. Everyone thought they were bat shit insane. Somehow they managed to convince an adoption agency that they were fit for parenthood. But they weren't. Rather than giving their child any toys for Christmas, they exchanged they gayest gifts they could think of. Tommy Boy (with a wrist motion) got a blanket of his FAVORITE PERSON EVER Taylor Swift, so that he could curl up to her when his lover was gone perusing around with other men.
Tommy Boy found out his lover was cheating the hard way, he got the herps. So he decided to abandon his child and his lover and instead adopted two dogs. That coincidentally were also gay and enjoyed chasing each other around the lake before they had hot doggy style sex.
Without his baby and herpes infested partner, Tommy Boy decided to live as far away from people as he possibly could. Of course, the most logical place to live when trying to avoid human contact, is Milwaukee. He soon discovered that Milwaukee was so far back in the dark ages that you needed gas to fuel everything. He was not pleased so he tried killing himself in the lake. It took him a while to realize he wasn't going to drown on top of ice. He started crying hysterically and seriously spazzing the fuck out so hard that everyone on the lake could hear him. He was a hot mess and everyone turned off their lights and pretended they weren't home except for one brave soul we'll call Super Baby. Super Baby took him under her wing and fed him baby food, because she said "IF YOU'RE GOING TO ACT LIKE A BABY I'M GOING TO TREAT YOU LIKE A BABY, YOU SHIT!" He ate the baby food and later discovered it was laced with some crazy shit. Which led him to drink fruit salad, I mean, light beer. After taking the drugs Super Baby had fed him and drinking 289 light beers, he finally wandered home, dressed his dog up in his ex lovers clothes, and assumed his position.
I'm way to lazy to be that creative so I'll tell you the first thought that comes to mind when I see each photo.
ReplyDelete1. Reminds me of my gay friends.
2. Cute baby with a food mustache. Looks like a young Burt Reynolds. Burt Reynolds is a badd ass.
3. Confirms my thoughts on photo #1.
4. Beautiful photo and I wish I lived wear it snows.
5. I think this is a cool shot. I also think you really love him which is sweet. Sweet shit makes me smile.
6. Another gorgeous photo!
7. super cute little kid!
8. Fun times with cheap beer.
9. Pretty pup!
Happy almost New Year! :)
Omg - not wear - *where. I hate when that happens.
ReplyDeleteAll I can think of is "shitter was full" when I see Shitler standing there with that gas can....
ReplyDeleteOther than that, I am drawing a blank.
1. Once upon a time there were two 'roommates' who enjoyed jack and diet coke.
ReplyDelete2. After much thought they knew it was time for their family to grow. They fostered this sweet boy, but didn't expect his food-related expenses to be so high, so they gave him back.
3. The roommates were sad, but nothing that two tickets and a neatly folded throw couldn't fix.
4. The couple decided on adopting a pair of border collies instead. Much less time consuming not to mention cheaper than feeding a kid.
5. That winter was a cold one, so they heated things up with some gasoline, a blow torch, and snow cream.
6. The view, overlooking their snow covered property reminded the couple that they still longed for a family.
7. So they tried with another foster child. This one made her own food.
8. Papa entertained this new bebe with the skills he had learned growing up on the land.
9. And the family was complete; two dudes, one doggie, and a very self-reliant little girl.
Once upon a time there were two men that fell in love. They enjoyed long walks around the lake, tanning on their boat nude, and jack and cokes around a small table. They were vehemently against sitting on furniture. Everyone thought they were bat shit insane. Somehow they managed to convince an adoption agency that they were fit for parenthood. But they weren't. Rather than giving their child any toys for Christmas, they exchanged they gayest gifts they could think of. Tommy Boy (with a wrist motion) got a blanket of his FAVORITE PERSON EVER Taylor Swift, so that he could curl up to her when his lover was gone perusing around with other men.
ReplyDeleteTommy Boy found out his lover was cheating the hard way, he got the herps. So he decided to abandon his child and his lover and instead adopted two dogs. That coincidentally were also gay and enjoyed chasing each other around the lake before they had hot doggy style sex.
Without his baby and herpes infested partner, Tommy Boy decided to live as far away from people as he possibly could. Of course, the most logical place to live when trying to avoid human contact, is Milwaukee. He soon discovered that Milwaukee was so far back in the dark ages that you needed gas to fuel everything. He was not pleased so he tried killing himself in the lake. It took him a while to realize he wasn't going to drown on top of ice. He started crying hysterically and seriously spazzing the fuck out so hard that everyone on the lake could hear him. He was a hot mess and everyone turned off their lights and pretended they weren't home except for one brave soul we'll call Super Baby. Super Baby took him under her wing and fed him baby food, because she said "IF YOU'RE GOING TO ACT LIKE A BABY I'M GOING TO TREAT YOU LIKE A BABY, YOU SHIT!" He ate the baby food and later discovered it was laced with some crazy shit. Which led him to drink fruit salad, I mean, light beer. After taking the drugs Super Baby had fed him and drinking 289 light beers, he finally wandered home, dressed his dog up in his ex lovers clothes, and assumed his position.
THE END.
That was exhausting. Love you!
you're incredible samm. read that shitler. he giggled. then kind of smirked.
ReplyDeleteso basically that story must be true and my whole life is a SHAM.