and also one of my favorites.
showering when i'm drunk gives me this false sense of attempting to sober up before i reach that critical "i'm going to hurl" moment. not to mention i think i'm basically the sexiest thing ever when drunken showering as the water is sluicing down my body and i'm belting out celine dion in a voice so terrible i don't think the mutts can even stomach it.
but who on earth is letting me drunk shower?
that shower is wet and slippery and my balance is already questionable when i'm in a sober state of mind.
it's inevitable that i'll slip and fall.
and crack my skull open.
and then, since i've been drinking heavily, my blood will be thin and i'll bleed out.
and it'll look like a goddamn crime scene.
but worst yet - since i'm drunk the chances of me completing any shower tasks are low.
so when someone does discover my naked body it'll be like half-way shaved and covered in soap.
which will mask the smell of booze and/or death.
 |
| a throw back photo. |
like i probably drunk showered after i tried to molest this girl.
in a friendly way, of course.
what's your favorite thing to do while drunk?
happy divorce day
bruce {someplace in wisconsin}
a mishmash