and if there is ever an example of not doing things on time biting you in the ass it's the time i got almost arrested.
let me paint you a picture.
the time comes for me to renew my license plate tags (which basically means shelling out $75 for the state to hand you some stickers that state the current year). but i don't. instead i continue driving around like this won't get me a ticket. which, it inevitably does.
so to keep you up to speed i am now in the hole $85 for the new license plate tags (because there's now a $10 late fee tacked on) and now $113 for having expired license plate tags.
so naturally i toss the ticket into the black hole that is the back seat of my car and continue on with my life.
the deadline to pay my ticket comes and goes. without me paying it. obviously. and i have just gotten around to actually getting the new license plate tags when it turns out i'm no longer just someone that doesn't do things on time but i have now evolved into a fugitive.
i'm minding my own business, working a shift at the restaurant, when shitler calls.
the conversation went something like this:
shitler: uhhh the cops were just at the house looking for you?
me: huh? why?
shitler: i don't know. i'm not your husband so they wouldn't tell me.
me: so what did they say?
shitler: they asked if you were home. and i told them you were at the restaurant.
me: you fucking NARCED me out?!
shitler: relax. they were cops from our town. the restaurant is in a different town. they probably can't do anything. but in the meantime - you might want to find out what they want.
me: i will. but you're still a narc-bastard.
the following day, while at my day job, i make some calls.
turns out that if you don't pay your ticket they'll issue ANOTHER ticket in the form of a bench warrant for your arrest. so naturally - i get on the phone, make a couple more calls, and get it paid for. my day continues and i'm at my restaurant job just dicking around.
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| not actually doing this but sheningans like this are pretty typical. |
bad cop: do you know why you're being arrested? i have an inkling.
bad cop: so have you paid your ticket? yes, today at lunch.
bad cop: what time was your lunch? noon. i took my lunch break and ordered jimmy john's.
good cop: oh! do you know so and so?! from your work? yes.
good cop: great, tell him i say hi. will do. when these handcuffs are off.
bad cop: do you know who you spoke with when you paid your ticket? no.
bad cop: do you have a receipt number? no.
bad cop: how can we believe that you actually paid the ticket? take my word for it?
bad cop: let me make some calls. ok.
the bad cop informs me that after making several phone calls he could find no record of me having paid the ticket.
in the meantime this has gone on for about a half hour, in the sweltering heat, wearing all black, in hand cuffs.
i try to insist to the cop that i'm sure he hears it every day that someone is claiming to have done something they didn't actually do. but i did pay the ticket. i was just too remedial to think i would need some sort of receipt because i never thought that cops did something as pointless as arrest people for having a passed due ticket for a license plate registration. the conversation ended like this:
bad cop: well, you have two options.
a. you pay the ticket again. then if you did actually pay it we will issue you a refund.
b. we take your word for it and let you go. but know this - if i get to work tomorrow and there isn't proof that you have paid this ticket i will be back here so fast your head will spin. and i will slap cuffs on you and charge you with obstruction of justice.
me: uhhhh, option b.
so they release me. and now i'm no longer under arrest.
so i go back inside, where i now have much more street cred than before, and regale to my co-workers the tale of the most ridiculous thing that has ever happened to me. about five minutes go by when bad cop pops his head back into the restaurant and informs me that they found the paperwork. and that was that.
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| not the time i got almost arrested - but the feeling is similar. |
have you ever gotten actually arrested?
