hey winter - get bent.

if winter were a person i would murder it.  that's not even an exaggeration.
i would beat it into submission and then choke the last breath of it's remaining life right out of it.
for those of you not familiar with the winter months and all of its bullshit let me break it down for.

if you have dogs you will undoubtedly yell at them constantly to stop eating the snow.  whether it's because it's yellow or because it's laced with salt to get rid of the ice mounds that accumulate.

you will have to account for even more time in the mornings in order to get to work on time.  sometimes there's that unexpected blizzard that blazes up right as you're ready to leave for work and you have to go fifteen miles per hour in order to avoid being part of some horrific car accident.  OR a foot of snow has been dumped on your car over night and you have to trudge around your car and clean it off so that you can actually journey to your job.  AND then if the temperature is in the negatives and also there's like one hundred mile an hour winds your windshield will inevitably be frozen solid across and you will have to sit in your car shivering while it heats up enough to defrost your windshield.  and sometimes, if you're lucky like me, you'll have to scrap the ice off your windshield from the inside.

you will have to literally psych yourself up to leave the warmth of the bed cocoon you've been in all night in order to endure the cold that is the rest of your house and then eventually the sub-zero conditions outside.

if you live at the bottom of a hill (like yours truly) then each and every time you need to leave the house and return means you will risk life and limb to reach your destination due to the ice slick that materializes over night.

good luck even attempting to muster up the energy to go to the gym.  the winter months mean that i channel my inner bear and want to eat everything in a five mile radius and then hibernate till may.

if you're super lucky and you live in a rental house with basically an absentee landlord and a finicky furnace then that means that your furnace will shower you with air conditioning temperature winds in the dead of winter.  the furnace is especially lovely right after you've exited the shower and you're looking for a nice blast of cool air in the dead of winter at 6am.

the winter months are certainly not conducive to drunk walks home from the bar where you consider at multiple points during said walk home to just curl up on the side of the road and take a quick nap (due to the fact that you're mere minutes away from hypothermia).  and the morning after a raucous night of debauchery and basically repelling down the hill makes for a fun map where you trace your body and find the bruises you incurred the night before from the many tumbles you drunkenly took trying to make it down the hill to your house.

so basically each and every time i need to leave my house i want to cry.
except shitler did point out that the hill looks kind of like the agro crag from guts.
so i should perhaps just strap in and pretend i'm on the game to make things interesting.

i just need it to not be winter.
i just need semi-nice weather that will allow me to sit outside and get drunk without freezing my ass off.  i just need the lake to not be frozen anymore.  i just need it to be time to go boating.  i just need to not almost die every single time i need to leave the house.  i just need for things to not look brown and slush-filled and ice slicked.  i feel as though i ask for so little so this shouldn't be too much.
below is what i would like.

dear nice weather - please come back.

please tell me that those of you from 

these here cold parts feel the same way i do.