high five 4 friday and backing up asses

first and foremost i went to the mall again last night.
it only further solidifies the fact that i'm too old for that shit.
mainly because my idea of a good time isn't loitering at the mall around the candy dispenser machine looking like i just knocked off a hot topic.
and also i think i could have coped better with having been at the mall if i had been drunk.
but i wasn't.  so all i could think was "get me.thefuck.outofhere."
but i made it out alive.  thank the lord.
so let's get to the high-fiving of all things friday with lauren.

1. mac-dizzle has been extremely demanding all week.  like more so than usual.  the other night he approached me, dropped his bone on the bed, backed away a few steps and stared at me.  the general feeling i got from the encounter was "throw this bone, bitch."

2. the next night we had a situation i like to call "two dogs, one bathtub."  murphy lee enjoys hanging out in the bathtub from time to time so that's totally normal.  i think mac-dizzle just loves infringing upon murphy lee's alone time.

3. last dog-related thing.  i swear.  if you follow me on IG you'll know that i came from work one night and mac-diz had some sort of head wound and shitler didn't know how it happened.  don't worry.  i chastised him for being a terrible father and about how he should care a little bit more about the well-being of his children and that if he didn't watch his step DPS (doggy protective services) was going to get an anonymous tip.  but the head wound must have made him extra cuddly.  because he was all up in my shit more than usual.  yes - i have a fifty pound lap dog.

4. shitler is really cramping my wedding planning style.  i think it's only fair that he leave everything up to my discretion.  which i think might be the exact reason why he's involving himself in the first place.  he wasn't too receptive when i suggested the song below to be our official wedding song.  he wouldn't even entertain the idea that this was the song that i could walk down the mexican aisle to.  he's being a real scrooge and and i told him to lighten up.  but to avail.  he's vetoed the song.

i added to the bokeh hearts.  obviously.

lyrics include, but aren't limited to: "i love bad bitches that's my fucking problem.  and yeah i like to fuck, i got a fucking problem."  i think it could be really romantic.  and it even talks about dropping down and getting your eagle on which i think we all know doesn't happen enough.  and we could have dropped down and got our eagle on for our first dance.  but shitler rained on my parade.  THANKS A LOT SHITLER.

5. lastly, i didn't have a fifth thing to high five for the week.  so i dug back into the archives and found this sweet video of shitler singing to t-swizzle.  i've watched it like thirty-seven times.

and also in the spirit of #backthatazzupFriday with whitney - here's my jam.  for my jam session.

tell me something.