oh hey there.
today i would like to go over things said in the shitler household.
me to shitler:
if you're not going to fuck it, don't touch it.
get your finger out of my asshole.
SPOON ME BITCH.
me to the hounds:
look dog - nudge my hand one more time while i'm playing candy crush and there will be fucking hell to pay.
OMG - quit licking your brother's dick.
shitler to me:
slumbercock.
eat a dick bitch.
when you say stuff like that it makes me want to hit you.
sidenote - all things are said in jest and with a smile on our faces.
also, i swear i don't think shitler is hilarious just because we're going to get married some day. he is straight up ridiculous. which, i suppose, is why we work so well. but sometimes i feel like him and i are the only two in on some joke together. mainly because he posted the following status the other day and i almost fell off the couch i was laying on due to the laughter and then i was the only one that even "liked" it. but come on.
lastly - today is a day for the gun mug.
because obviously.
I feel like I should be living with you guys.
ReplyDeleteThis is way better than those lovey dovey crap posts. Also Hawkeye always wants my attention during candy crush and NO. No dog, NO.
ReplyDeleteThese phrases are scary similar to things that are said in my household.
ReplyDelete'Eat a dick, bitch' I hear that shit every day.
This just confirms that I can't wait to move in with you.
Hahaha that mug is pretty cool and the weird shit that comes out of my boyfriends mouth (typically while being frustrated by the dog) is just amazing. I may need to start collecting phrases
ReplyDeletehahaha you guys are funny.
ReplyDeleteI swear to god i just died. And I died even more at the mug. Because its SO YOU!
ReplyDeletehahah Candy crush.. I would kill a dog if he moved my hand & made me do the wrong move!!! ....jk but yes that damn game... its the most addictive thing ever!! & I love it. I should really just live with ya'll I think we'd all get along :)
ReplyDeleteminus I might try to steal your mug!
You two lovebirds are so romantical! GET A ROOM.
ReplyDeleteHe can fuck it but he can't touch it?! What abou the shocker?? Also, cotton candy sweet as gold, let me see that butterfly? No, just no: it's gonna be the tootsie roll.
ReplyDelete