i think the biggest mistake people make when it comes to monday is expecting that they may not be as terrible as their nature suggests.
but they are. mondays are awful
the trick to dealing with them is to go into any given monday with extremely low expectations. and by low, i mean rock-fucking-bottom. by doing so, you ensure at a least a sliver of hope on these most godforsaken of days.
here's what my weekend looked like:
friday i ate like four thousand pounds of sushi.
and it also dawned on me that maybe my fitness pal should have the "i fucked up" option when you're logging a terrible meal that basically wrecks any diet you're attempting to be on.
saturday i made more poor food choices. like tacos, chips and salsa, cheesy bread, pizza, buttery popcorn, and two family sized bottles of wine with wendalyn lou. turns out mac-dizzle hates uncle rico something fierce. and also that cabin in the woods is one of the worst movies i've seen in my entire life but we hate-watched anyway out of sheer confusion and curiosity.
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| murphy lee at least loved uncle rico. |
sunday came and we threw caution and our diets to the wind and crammed olive garden and drinks in our faces. it's like you reach that point where you realize you've done so much damage to whatever good you were trying to do in the diet category that you start thinking "welp, go big or go home. and yes i will have another breadstick please and thank you."
and it's not that i'm thrilled that the weekend ended but i couldn't have asked for a better one consider the mother of dragons fucking shut shit down on game of thrones. plus - shitler watched it for the first time and to say that he was disappointed would be an understatement. i've done my damnedest to bait him into watching it. i'm all "you should definitely watch. there's boobs, sex, prostitutes, blood, guts, and battles." turns out the first episode he watched had no boobs and no sex.
but he did get to hang out with this diaper-clad baby.
i've also decided to do all my binge drinking on friday.
i can't hack it on sundays when i've over-served myself on saturday night and basically need the entire last day of the weekend to recover. i just can't do it. and yes - i know i'm being a huge vagina.
also - here's what my saturday looked like. a more in depth look.
also - i'm not in love with any of what i've written. so - sorry.
also - the title of this post made me think of condoms so i've just spent an unnecessary amount of time reading the hilarious ways you can say "wear a condom."side note - it's prom season. which means i've entered the seventh circle of hell in the serving world.
stay tuned for that gem.
