i never have been good with blog titles

i'll never understand the way my brain works.

like i'll swear off drinking for the weekend but then decide to tie one on on a school night.

it just makes no sense.  i think i'm broken.  fix me.

but i digress.  here are some things i'm high-fiving.

 

1// although i hate the restaurant job more than anything else in the world it's only slightly bearable because my manager is the best ever.  you know your boss knows you inside and out when his form of punishment for doing all the things wrong is to threaten to give me more hours or make me close.  that will stop me dead in my tracks.

2// i'm not sure why i find this picture so damn hilarious.  i think it's because it looks like a pig nose.  only it's not.  it's two kernels of corn nestled in piece of halved tomato.  WHY IS IT SO FUNNY TO ME?

3// i know sundays typically feel like death but i can't help but love them because it means game of thrones.  only i watched last week's episode on monday so therefore i can include it in the things i'm high-fiving.  like this quote.  they seriously knock it out of the park with like all the dialogue.  and i'm sorry - but if you're not watching this show you need to stop talking to me until you do.

4// a while back tiff tweeted about how people don't recognize that ear buds in the ear is that international sign for "don't fucking talk to me."  i can't remember if this is verbatim or not but it was the general idea of her tweet.  and her tweet was CORRECT.  but i just don't understand people.  do not make me pause my music.  do not make me look at you.  do not insist on talking as loud as you possibly can in order for me to hear you over my music.  and not that i ever think it's ok but know that you're going to end up with a punctured ear drum to me cramming my pen in your ear if you interrupt me when i'm listening to the of monsters and men album.

5// the other day i panic-ordered on accident some peach tea from burger king and ZOMG it's the best thing i never intentionally set out to do.  i need a cup double the size above to appease my need for the peach tea.

LASTLY - let's get to the real important shit.  what i would back my azz up to with whit.

p.s. i don't care if you don't like chris brown.  i would have punched rihanna too.  THERE - i said it.

p.p.s.  i spell her name wrong every.damn.time which is also one of the reasons i want to punch her.

p.p.p.s.  shitler is out of town this weekend so PARTY BY MYSELF WITH NO PANTS.  i think you're not supposed to tell people when you're going to be home alone or something because you might get serial killed.  but i don't even care.  just don't serial kill me.  maybe just tweet/sext me at various points this weekend to verify i haven't been serial killed.