my brain is mush. on account of all the tv watching.

remember back when we were kids and all you sometimes wanted to do was plop yourself down in front of the television and watch hours upon hours of everything on nickelodeon?  for the longest time my parents refused to get cable so whenever i was around someone who had it or my parents decided to get it you couldn't pry me away from the gazillion shows i thought i would just die without watching.  and you know which ones i'm talking about: guts, rugrats, clarissa explains it all, all that, double dare, legends of the hidden temple, doug, and (my personal favorite) salute your shorts.  both of my parents would yell at me for watching all my shows with my nose practically glued to the screen and both tried to convince me that it was going to rot my brain and "SHANNON would it kill you go outside and play (and i totally did and usually me and the neighbors would play power rangers)?"

which leads me to my point.
and that point is: THINGS HAVEN'T CHANGED (except for the power rangers thing.  maybe.).

it's a beautiful day out?  no thanks my DVR is full and it's making me anxious. do you want to go out to dinner?  uhhh thanks but no thanks but something didn't record and i want to get home and try to find the next time it will air. maybe you should read a book?  YOU DON'T KNOW ME.

but honestly.  the amount of trash television i watch is disgusting and borderline makes me feel bad about myself. because "hello my name is shannon and i'm sad that i missed the final episode of bravo's princesses: long island and i'm getting upset that it's not on demand and there haven't been any other showings."

shows that are rotting my brain that i just can't quit
pretty little stupid liars it's the show that i want no one to know that i'm watching but i need to know other people that are watching because i need someone to commune with in anger in confusion.  because it never fails that i watch pretty little liars and end up having like a thousand questions and no goddamn answers.  not to mention they have a shit load of time on their hands.  but then again i never see them watching tv so maybe that's why.

all things on bravo sometimes i try and remember a time when bravo didn't exist and dominate my entire life and i just draw a blank.  because just as one housewives franchise is coming to a season end andy cohen pops out of nowhere with another one to save the damn day.

because i can't help but want to watch all the train wrecks and also stare at all the really, really ridiculous good looking people and also just in general not have a life.  and it's impossible to write about every, single thing i watch on bravo because "hello what don't i watch?" would probably be the better question and i would have to answer with "nothing." 

true blood

last night i thought it would be a good idea to park myself in front of the tv and watch six straight hours of true blood.  like when shitler got home from work i was laying on the couch.  and then when he left and came back from being at the bar i was in the exact same spot watching the exact same show and though he didn't say it i knew he was wondering "have you even fucking moved?"  and the answer would have been no.  mainly because i was enthralled with the weird sex sookie was having in the cemetary and also the vampire jail and also all the terrible blood effects.  damn you true blood, DAMN YOU.

p.s. don't even get me started on me watching mistresses and devious maids and the client list because that stuff is slowly eating away at my brain as well.

shows that aren't all the way rotting my brain

the walking dead

because duh.  it kind of makes you think?  please read that with inflection because that's how i intended it.  i mean what's actually going to happen?  everyone actually has the virus?  how will that pan out?  is this foreshadowing for our own future (i threw that last thing in because it sounded smart).

american horror story

IT HAS ALL THE BEST ACTORS.  which, in my world, translates to being awesome.  there's just no way in hell that all these fantastic thespians would sign onto a total shit project of a television show.  not to mention that each and every season is a new story line and basically i have the attention span of gnat so good job AHS in reeling me in hook, line, and sinker.

game of thrones

hi, hello, it's based off of a book series so it's automatically awesome (which i'm also aware pretty little liars is but like GoT is not young adult nonsense).  and to be fair you have to really commit to the books considering they're easily about seven hundred pages long each and come on dragons, and struggles for power, and early politics where people had to plan take overs with fucking messenger ravens for crying out loud.  and also there's nudity.
which is always a solid way to get me completely sucked into any show.

the one show that will never rot my brain

24.

"i'm federal agent jack bauer, and today is the longest day of my life."

JACK IS BACK YA'LL.  may of 2014 marks what easily be the best month of my life.  and obviously not because of that pesky wedding or whatever but because 24 is officially back (albeit on a smaller scale) but it's back nonetheless and i just can't wait to watch jack snap necks and cash checks (ok not that last part but you get it).
basically in preparation shitler and i are going to have to watch each and every single previous season again.
because it's THAT good and if you're not going to watch or haven't ever watched it then i simply can't be friends with you.

via

if you need me tonight you can find me on my
couch continuing to rot my brain.