dear tom brady

dear tom brady, fuck you.  no really.  i stood a fighting chance had you simply decided to be a bit more present in yesterday's game.  instead you did nothing but get me negative points and cause me to internally rage.  i know you have a lot going on in your life.  i can only imagine your love of gisele, ugg boots, your children, and now apparently turtlenecks can be overwhelming and hard to juggle but i'm going to need you to do your job.  and that job is throwing mother f'ing touchdowns and getting me monster fantasy points.

via

you're stuck with me tom.  so i'm going to need you to nut the fuck up for next week's game because week five was just garbage.  are we clear, tom? shit like this will simply not do.

god it just makes my brain explode TOM BRADY.  does it make your brain explode?  i sure hope so because that was quite the poor showing.  you get paid an annoying amount of money to do one thing - THROW TOUCHDOWNS.  so get it together and do so.  please and thank you.

sincerely,

shannon aka one seriously pissed off fantasy owner

p.s. you better hope my kicker gets like 45 points tonight tom brady.  or else.

anyway.  now that that's out of the way.  tom brady just takes me to a level that i don't like to stoop to but it was necessary.  he's not going to get that tough love anywhere else but right here.  so he should really thank me.

with like a check.  for a lot of money.

how are all of you kids doing?

super i hope.

aside from the train wreck that was tom brady yesterday my weekend wasn't altogether that terrible.

i read a book.  mindy kaling's book actually.  she has a really great section on "best friend rights and responsibilities" that is truly a must-read.  this is the best quote about best friends.  ever.

then the packers won (even better because they beat the lions).  and i got to play with a kitten.

and the tom brady bullshit aside if every weekend included the packers winning and just a bunch of kittens i think i would be the happiest person alive.  

like in the history of the universe.

but that's it.  that's all i did. AREN'T YOU JEALOUS. whatever.  it's sami time.