mostly about chicken wings

tonight i'm going to eat chicken wings. more importantly boneless chicken wings.  buffalo wild wings i'm coming for you.
which leads me to this confession.
itotallycheckoutallmenusandplanwhati'mgoingtoeatbeforeigettotherestaurant.
did you catch that?  i don't want to have to repeat it because it pains me to say it out loud and mainly because shitler just rips on me incessantly for it.
but really - how can i not.  i think it's important to go in with a game plan of all the things i'm going to eat in order to insure that i've made a well-thought out choice.  nothing is worse than sitting at the table while the server impatiently stares at you because they have 8,000 more important things to be doing than listening to you mull over whether or not you want deep fried pickles (that's a joke - i always want deep fried pickles) but you get my point.  it's even worse (trust me - i know) when you start to panic and have to say the dreaded words "OMG take my order last!"
but anyway.  i didn't come here to lament to you all the ordering woes of our modern day society but instead to let you know what i think i'm going to eat tonight.  YOU'RE SO LUCKY.
first up.  immediately order water for guzzling purposes.  it's important to start out hydrated when facing a night of wings and booze.  then i'll move on to the things of alcoholic nature.  i haven't yet hammered out what i'm going to come out of the gate yet with.  specialty drink or beer.  beer or specialty drink.  only time will tell.  but then i'm going to order deep fried pickles because HELLO if you don't like and/or order them then i'm convinced that you're probably a terrorist.  and then my friends, since it's boneless thursday, means i'm going to roll up my sleeves and go balls deep on said boneless wings.  the only thing i haven't hammered out yet is the types of sauces i want because apparently the last time i went to buffalo wild wings it must have been the stone age and also the birthplace of simple sauces because upon looking at the menu there were like a kajillion new sauces that i have never heard of but immediately cued a pavlovian response.  typically i go straight for the tried and true hot because it's hot enough for me to enjoy but still be reasonably uncomfortable.   BUT NOW THERE ARE MORE CHOICES.   choices like jammin' jalapeno, desert heat, caribbean jerk (i think they always had this one), and thai curry and unfortunately i want to order all of them and then rub them all over my body which the more i think about the more i realize is a terrible idea because it might burn patches of my skin off and then people will think i'm doing krokodil. which i'm not.
so basically i have a general idea of the things i'm going to cram down my gullet later tonight. and i wanted you to know.  and i also wouldn't mind if you suggested a preference for sauce because it would help my addled brain a lot.  but like don't tell me the garlic kind whatever because i'll hit you.
p.s. this picture has nothing to do with chicken wings but i love it oh so much.