what does michael vick, shitler, and an arby's employee have in common?
only the most incredible conversation ever. that's what.
on tuesday shitler came home looking slightly weirded out.
naturally i was only semi-concerned but mostly nosy about the weirdness. he told me that he had just gotten done in the arby's drive-thru (p.s. i was appalled because shitler bowls on tuesdays and they have $1 tacos at the bowling alley so frankly i was offended that he would choose arby's over delicious budget tacos - BUT I DIGRESS).
shitler kind of sighed, put his hands in his pockets, and said "i just had the weirdest conversation ever."
and then here's me like "OMG DO TELL."
it went like this.
shitler pulled up to the arby's drive-thru, ordered his food, and pulled around to pay. he was greeted with an employee that i can only think to say is starved for attention because the man immediately struck up a personal conversation with my shitler. noting that shitler was wearing a camouflage sweatshirt he inquired as to whether shitler was a hunter and if so was he excited for the season? shitler said he was excited. then he was handed his food. but the man wasn't done with the conversation. not by a long shot. it continued like so:
p.s. i'm going to name this arby's man kevin. it just makes sense in my head.
arby's man kevin: lemme ask you a question. do you think what michael vick did was wrong? and be honest.
shitler: uhhh ya. he hung dogs.
arby's man kevin: how is that any different than deer hunting?
shitler: well, one is legal and the other is illegal.
arby's man kevin: but the dogs lost. when you lose you should die.
shitler: uhhhhh *slowly easing his truck away from the window*
arby's man kevin: i think we should legalize people being able to kill all animals.
shitler: uhhhhh *SPEEDS OFF*
and then i was all "you know he's a serial killer, right?" and then also "WHY DO YOU GET TO HAVE ALL THE GOOD CONVERSATIONS WITH STRANGE EMPLOYEES?!"
also by arby's man kevin's logic michael vick and shitler are one and the same.
OMG. I was afraid to read further when I saw Michael Vick's name. You and I once exchanged words when I prayed for him to be crippled on the football field (although, you had him on your fantasy team, so that might be why you were against it). I so so fucking PROUD OF SHITLER!!!! Please, go give him a blowie for sticking up for pups. RIGHT NOW, Shannon! And while you are at it, give him a rim job from me. Thx.
i was going to leave the best comment ever but then someone wrote " rim job" so mine is pretty much null and void now. If Arby's curly fries werent crack, I would say never go back but we all know thats not possible.
HAHAHAHAHAHA I AM DYING. THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I NEEDED ON MY LIFE-SAVING BREAK FROM WORK. I will never, ever forget this. And that's sayin' something. Something dramatic. And probably untrue.
Okay, so...yeah. I was pretty terrified to continue reading when I saw Michael Vick's name, because we are an animal loving household and I was all "better not be saying how awesome Michael Vick is..." but I read on and yeah...Arby's guy Kevin...definitely has a secret dungeon in his basement and not the fun kind. Also: aside from being illegal...dude...I hope Michael Vick gets everything he did done to him. Because I am a vengeful bitch when it comes to people who abuse animals. (I understand if my hateful comments cause you to blacklist me from your site comments.)
I envision his name to be Jeremy. He wears shirts with horse on them and he thinks they are fashionable. White washed denim. Has a cat named Thomas. Likes a girl named Tabitha. They have only ever held hands but he's in love.
I don't see a difference in those pictures, I mean PRACTICALLY the same person....
ReplyDeleteyeah that guy was totally a serial killer.
OMG. I was afraid to read further when I saw Michael Vick's name. You and I once exchanged words when I prayed for him to be crippled on the football field (although, you had him on your fantasy team, so that might be why you were against it). I so so fucking PROUD OF SHITLER!!!! Please, go give him a blowie for sticking up for pups. RIGHT NOW, Shannon! And while you are at it, give him a rim job from me. Thx.
ReplyDeletei DO remember that.
Deleteand props to you mentioning "rim job."
What an insane conversation! What a whack job! So funny shitler just sped off...haha
ReplyDeleteOMG that guy is a psycho and a total serial killer!!
ReplyDeletei was going to leave the best comment ever but then someone wrote " rim job" so mine is pretty much null and void now. If Arby's curly fries werent crack, I would say never go back but we all know thats not possible.
ReplyDeleteyou know that guy was a legit psycho and not just kind of backwards because he added the "be honest" part. he's clearly looking for an accomplice.
ReplyDeleteLittleBirdBlogs
shitler vick, it has areal nice ring to it.
ReplyDeleteClearly serial killer material right there
ReplyDeletePerhaps someone should alert local authorities to keep an eye out on Arby's Kevin? I mean talk about creeper status!
ReplyDeleteYep, arby's man kevin is about as serial killer as they come. what a creep.
ReplyDeletebut i still laughed all the way through this post.
HAHAHAHAHAHA I AM DYING. THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I NEEDED ON MY LIFE-SAVING BREAK FROM WORK. I will never, ever forget this. And that's sayin' something. Something dramatic. And probably untrue.
ReplyDeleteOmg wtf....Some people are just ate up.
ReplyDeleteWhat. dafuq. I have no words except next time that happens shitler needs to pull out his phone and record that shit.
ReplyDeleteTHEY HAVE SIMILAR GOATEES.
ReplyDeleteOmg, but really humans? REALLY?
Maybe we'll get lucky and Michael Vick will be next on the serial killer Kevin's list.
ReplyDeletehahahaha I love you and Shitler SO HARD
ReplyDeleteI hope the Arby's man gets eaten by Lilly Ghalichi's hair.
ReplyDeleteAnd yes I had to Google the proper spelling of her last name.
Okay, so...yeah. I was pretty terrified to continue reading when I saw Michael Vick's name, because we are an animal loving household and I was all "better not be saying how awesome Michael Vick is..." but I read on and yeah...Arby's guy Kevin...definitely has a secret dungeon in his basement and not the fun kind. Also: aside from being illegal...dude...I hope Michael Vick gets everything he did done to him. Because I am a vengeful bitch when it comes to people who abuse animals. (I understand if my hateful comments cause you to blacklist me from your site comments.)
ReplyDeleteAlso: I wasn't referring to hunting in the above.
Deletei would never blacklist you. all sad animal abuse commercials make me want to crawl into a hole and die.
Deletearby`s man kevin has lost at life and therefore should die. his words, not mine.
ReplyDeleteI envision his name to be Jeremy.
ReplyDeleteHe wears shirts with horse on them and he thinks they are fashionable.
White washed denim.
Has a cat named Thomas.
Likes a girl named Tabitha.
They have only ever held hands but he's in love.
What a psycho! Loved reading the comments on this too!
ReplyDelete