this girl sure does twirl

so i've been blogging for awhile now.  nothing that i ever think is all that important. but i just come here and say things and then you kids read them and sometimes you kids even like them. and then it tends to feel like i'm just over here winning all of the things. and when you start a blog you don't know all the tiniest of nuances that exist. like the fucking blate.  or paid sponsorship posts.  or guest posts. or in my case trying to actually post anything.  so like i mentioned awhile back - i got the brilliant idea (while drunk) that maybe i should offer some paid sponsorship spots.  and then WHOA.  people bought them.  and then i died a little because it meant i would have to actually follow through on something that i didn't remember even putting together.  but here we are.  because it's the moment of truth.  
please don't be too hard on me kids.
because i figured that instead of doing the sponsorship where someone just guest posts here and tries to sell you on themselves - that i could do that.  you know - for those people. i feel like i don't even need to introduce this blogger. this bitch does it all.  she blogs consistently (which i repeatedly fail to do). plus she gives shit away and i think she likes social media just as much as i do. plus - from the first time i read her blog it was evident that she was just a plain nice person with a side of snark (which i enjoy immensely).
and frankly her very evident love of all things music just make constantly want to tell her this.

did you figure it out?  do you know who it is?

drum roll please.

because sometimes she tries to out-GIF me. like when she laid out her whole day in her movie quote post.  except instead of michael and hugo you just add shitler and two flea bags and poof there's my day.  and speaking of michael it was almost impossible for me not to write this entire thing about him (sorry helene) but like how can you not?  because there is nothing, and i mean nothing, better than a man dressed as miley cyrus and just twerking it.

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or she goes and posts something that i would have without a doubt made fun of all on my own.  but she went ahead and beat me to the punch by doing it herself.  because her cheesy engagement photos are ones i'm tempted to print and hang up in my house and then tell people those pictures are the people that came in the frame.  

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and lastly sometimes i can't help but hate-read along with her blog when she talks about all her stupid travels.

because HI I WANT TO DO ALL THOSE THINGS BUT I'M BROKE SO THANKS FOR RUBBING IT IN.  which is even worse because she hasn't even extended an invite for me to tag along or pay for my fucking plane ticket.
and i can't even pick a favorite picture from her travels because that bitch has been errrrrrywhere.

so to recap.

if i ran the world and things were up to me and i was making you read five posts from helene they would be these:

michael as miley

engagement photo sesh for the win

that movie quote post chock full of GIFs

she doesn't watch any bravo housewives

her stupid travels (BTW - just go ahead and search the word "travel" on her blog and then wish you would have just packed yourself along in one of their suitcases).

so go read her blog.  as if for some reason you already aren't.

ok so there it is.  my first ever sponsorship post.  

i hope i did something some justice.

and if you're interested in your own sponsorship spot you can go ahead and click here to find out more.