cute.

i think i'm a girl with jumbled priorities.
and by jumbled i mean abnormal.  but i think in the best possible way.
like the other day i was attempting to do blog-related things when i got distracted by a commercial on tv that mentioned something about trans-vaginal mesh.  and then i spent an hour googling trans-vaginal mesh related things and forgot about the blog things i had set out to do.
or when the movie honey came on tv and i literally dropped everything i was attempting to do (like laundry and dishes) and became 100% totally engrossed in it.  which is embarrassing because a toddler could probably follow the plot line with no problem.  HIP HOP AT THE CENTA.
or that i bought a second wedding dress the other day.  priorities people.
which got me to thinking about weddings/marriage/ridiculous people. one of my favorite people in the whole entire world, wendalyn lou, oftentimes tells me she doesn't understand how people like me since i'm usually such a giant bitch (and i took some liberties with her statement and she means it in the nicest way like ever).  and i have to admit that i just don't care.  like about anything.  
you don't like me?  i'll live and continue to sleep soundly at night. if you expect me to operate based on what society deems to be appropriate then your expectations of me will surely fall short. i've never been one to let other people's expectations dictate the way my life is going to pan out. marriage?  eh - if it happens it happens.  and if it doesn't then that's ok too. babies?  terrifying but if shitler knocks me up at some point then i guess i'll be a mom. and i guess what i'm trying to get at is the women that say they've been planning their wedding since they were a little girl?  why?  go the fuck outside because it's time to play ghost in the motherfucking graveyard not decide on color schemes and look at swatches.

because you know what's cute?  girls pitching fits that a man hasn't put a ring on it yet.  i bet you a million dollars your boyfriend has never been less attracted to you then when you're throwing a fit about not being engaged.

even cuter?  girls that give men ultimatums.  because nothing would make me feel better about that ring finger being frosted then knowing that it got there because i pressured the shit out of a dude and he didn't actually want to marry me of his own accord.
i guess i've seen and experienced too much of that type of thing with women around me and it makes my brain want to explode.  like weird chicks that i went to college with and happened to have a boyfriend when they graduated went and immediately got married.  like it was the next logical life step instead of making sure that it was happening because of the right reasons.  same thing with babies.  or certain women that think it's necessary to make getting to the altar a competition.  and trust me - they truly do exist and it's not cute.  plenty of people in my life got engaged and married before shitler and i did and those same people had been together a lot less time than we even were.  and you know what's normal?  to get pumped that there's an upcoming wedding to get beat up drunk at.
so basically the moral of the story is that women should stop caring so much. the wedding i'm planning involves a two week vacation and a beach and it's turning out to be way more work than i can handle (which if you're wondering how much work i can handle - the answer is none).
and ladies relax.  shitler proposed after thirteen years of me making his life miserable.
he hit the jackpot when he decided to make me mrs shitler.

i hope some of that made sense.  because bitches be crazy.
p.s.  my lady garden hasn't been a priority lately.  so i should probably make an appointment to get waxed. because guess who else participated in no-shave-november?  my vagina.