more snooch things

once upon a time i blogged on a semi-consistent basis. but then i stopped.  because why i do not know. probably lack of motivation and also anything remotely valuable to say. today will be no different.  so i apologize in advance for what you're about to read.
i wanted to talk about snooch waxing again.  mainly because i need to get my snooch waxed because i'm totally due up for it (if you know what i mean).  back in july i wrote about snooch waxing.  you can read that here.  i ended up not being able to get an appointment with the regular snooch waxing lady i go to and after an exhaustive search that just led me to places that were more expensive than what i was normally used to paying and also weird lengths of time that it was going to take to get my snooched waxed (like 60 minutes); a twitter angel reached out and recommended their lady.  i graciously thanked them and scrambled to make an appointment.  the appointment was quick (like what i was accustomed to) but 100% not even close to being comfortable.  i will normally get a million questions about what it feels like from friends that are going to get it done for the first time and i'm certainly not going to lie to anyone and tell them its rainbows, unicorns, and the best feeling ever but it sure doesn't hurt on an unbearable level.  quick aside - my mom wanted her snooch waxed before we left for mexico and she furiously stated that if she could have all three of us kids with no pain meds then she could sure as shit get her snooch waxed.  spoiler alert she's hooked and goes on a regular basis now.  but i digress.  the appointment with the not ordinary snooch waxing lady was one of the most uncomfortable experiences of my life.  the woman talked a mile a minute and gave me a headache (which in retrospect was nice because it distracted me from the crotch hair ripping pain) but then also continually rubbed a cooling lotion on my snooch.  and although it was in a supremely professional manner it made me feel like i had just rounded a base (i never know what the bases are so just use your imagination) with a stranger.  and then at the end i had to get on all fours-ish with my butt in the air while she waxed that area too.  it was surreal.  and i bet pretty par for the course if that's what you're used to in regards to snooch waxing but i wasn't so i wanted to cry.
but the whole point of this is that i'm due for a snooch wax.  except shitler is leaving for indiana on monday for like two whole weeks.  and i think it's unnecessary and not very frugal of me to get the snooch wax now when he's just going to be out of town for two weeks (heyooooo).  so i've politely informed him that he's going to have to make do with the current situation.  and that also he should be thankful that i'm at least shaving my legs and pits on a semi-regular basis.
was this weird for you guys?  it's ok if it was.  or wasn't. i feel you've all felt my pain.  it's our womanly cross to bare bear (i'm sorry i love puns and i couldn't resist).
i think shitler should just be thankful that things haven't reached a point where you need like a machete to hack through my downstairs business. 
i feel like by the time i finally do get my snooch waxed it may well resemble something like this:

too far? i don't even care.
snooch out.