BUT THEN you feel like the joke is on you because the world is filled with terribly, awful people and then you can't help but feel like the idiot considering it's something that you probably should have expected because duh people are monsters.
how is it that people don't live by the golden rule? it seems so simple. if there's something that i wouldn't want done to me, then i'm certainly not going to do it to someone else (ray rice - this applies to you and also AP - you fucks).
and it's not that i necessarily have low standards when it comes to friendships, but that my requirements are basic at best.
don't steal from me.
don't be a cunt to me.
don't lie to me.
do drink wine with me.
those seem easy enough to abide by, right?
YOU WOULD THINK SO.
except then people that you thought were your friends go ahead and commit thievery and/or ruin your bachelorette party (yes that was like six months ago but i'm still salty over it because i didn't get to go to the strip club).
so the moral of the story is "trust no one, question everything."
and now i'm going to google pictures of cats hugging each other.
it's the only constant good thing in my life (see also: yes i know that's dramatic).
p.s. i'm aware that it's not two cats. but they're wearing clothes and they're snuggling and it makes me feel better about life.
there's a very fine winery half an hour (i had to correct that because at first i'd typed a mile instead of an hour... my brain is preoccupied with dark and twisty thoughts lately, so i'm not all here, apparently)... but if you lived here in the often humid swamp that is southeast texas as opposed to the sometimes frigid lowlands of wisconsin... i'd drink wine with you, too.
also it was YOUR bachelorette party, right? i can understand residual anger from not getting to do what you wanted on a day designed for YOU.
I don't steal or treat people like c-words, when can we meet for wine. PS- I apparently have a limit on drinking wine and when I hit that limit I end up hanging my head out a car window.....(perfect example was the 5 bottles of wine in 7 hours at my brothers wedding, worst 2 hours ride home ever).
People are the worst and I don't like anyone and this is basically why I have like two real-life friends. Let’s hang out and drink wine together and go to strip clubs and not steal from each other (except shoes of reciprocal sizes, like Natalie mentioned above). Surely there’s some way to accomplish all those things across the internet?
but how can we make it happen? perhaps we'll just go to each other's respective states like we're children of a broken home but like different.
i don't actually even know what i'm talking about right now. but i'll spend wisconsin winters with you in TX and then you can come for wisconsin springs or some bullshit like that.
I meet all of your qualifications. Let's drink wine.
ReplyDeleteyou said cunt.
ReplyDeletelove that about you.
Well I WOULD meet all the qualifications, but if you happen to have a pair of shoes I like and we HAPPEN to be the same size - I will steal them.
ReplyDeletethis i will allow.
DeleteScrew you and your vague blogging. I demand details.
ReplyDelete(Sorry, I don't do wine. But you know I'll drink everything else with you.)
I'd drink wine with you.
ReplyDeletethere's a very fine winery half an hour (i had to correct that because at first i'd typed a mile instead of an hour... my brain is preoccupied with dark and twisty thoughts lately, so i'm not all here, apparently)... but if you lived here in the often humid swamp that is southeast texas as opposed to the sometimes frigid lowlands of wisconsin... i'd drink wine with you, too.
ReplyDeletealso it was YOUR bachelorette party, right? i can understand residual anger from not getting to do what you wanted on a day designed for YOU.
People are assholes. You deserve better than that, like someone who is very upfront about stealing your stuff and being a bitch, ya know?
ReplyDeletealso i'd gladly take you to a strip club.
ReplyDeleteI don't steal or treat people like c-words, when can we meet for wine. PS- I apparently have a limit on drinking wine and when I hit that limit I end up hanging my head out a car window.....(perfect example was the 5 bottles of wine in 7 hours at my brothers wedding, worst 2 hours ride home ever).
ReplyDeletePeople suck. Wine doesn't. See you at our dogs' wedding.
ReplyDeletePeople are the worst and I don't like anyone and this is basically why I have like two real-life friends. Let’s hang out and drink wine together and go to strip clubs and not steal from each other (except shoes of reciprocal sizes, like Natalie mentioned above). Surely there’s some way to accomplish all those things across the internet?
ReplyDeletebut how can we make it happen? perhaps we'll just go to each other's respective states like we're children of a broken home but like different.
Deletei don't actually even know what i'm talking about right now.
but i'll spend wisconsin winters with you in TX and then you can come for wisconsin springs or some bullshit like that.