one week anniversary of over-serving myself. again.

last week wednesday i had a conversation with shitler that went something like this:
me: oh hey - i'm staying at melissa's house tomorrow night.
shitler: why?
me: because we're going to drink too much wine and hork all the food in our faces and i'm going to be too drunk to be able to commandeer any type of motorized vehicle (like even a fucking big wheel).
shitler: oh.
me: ya, so see you sunday.
and then i think we high-fived and went our separate, merry ways till sunday.
so with that being said - today is the one week anniversary of when i thought it would be a good idea to eat my fucking face off and drink one of those family sized bottles of pinot noir with my friend.  and by drink one of those family sized bottles of pinot noir i mean that i drank an entire 1.75 and she also drank an entire 1.75 and then we tried to watch the movie "the other woman" but it didn't work out because we re-started it like six times but then got distracted by eating a jar of pickled asparagus and also by needing to order partylite and then we finally passed out but not before i demanded that her cats sleep in the bed but duh cats don't listen so they ignored me.
but then all the fun came to a screeching halt when the alarms went off the next morning and it was like a stumble fest of trying to dress myself and also figure out where the fuck i was (because i responsibly spent the night at my friend's house).  and also i warned her that she shouldn't be alarmed if i tried to cuddle or spoon her because it's what i'm accustomed to but what i'm not accustomed to is sleeping next to someone that isn't covered in hair so it was kind of weird and i felt out of place but i made do because i was wine drunk and i could have probably slept on a hardwood floor.  and then we hauled ass to work and as i sat at my desk i was all "WOE IS ME, WHY DO I DO THIS.  SHANNON YOU ARE A TERRIBLE DECISION MAKER."  and then i was like "UGH, i have to work at the restaurant tonight - IS THIS REAL LIFE?"  and then i was all  "wait a minute.  once upon a time i was honest about not wanting to work a shift and it totally got me out of work so maybe try it again."  you can read about that here.  so i quickly shot off a text to my manager:

so no.  i didn't get out of the second round job that night.

i put in the regular eight hour day and then suffered through another six hour shift where i swear the universe was punishing me for my over-indulgence because like every table ordered red wine and it taunted me and my hangover because vomatrocious (not a word but deal with it). 

so the moral of the story is that i haven't had anything boozy to drink since then. which has made all the difference in how i feel on a daily basis.  I KNOW.  I GET IT.  EVERYONE TOLD ME SO.  whatever.  i'm a glutton for punishment.  also this last tuesday, as in three days ago, i did one of those frisky fall tone it up circuit thing at the gym and immediately after i finished i felt like i could take on the world but then i woke up the next morning and almost fell down the stairs because apparently my legs worked so hard the night before that they felt they didn't need to show up to the next day at all.
originally i was going to post some pictures about my labor day weekend i the northwoods of wisconsin but then this post spiraled wildly out of control and i don't have any type of motivation to bring it full circle.
so instead i leave you with this cat; because in my mind it's spoon-feeding me carbs.

p.s. i want to do a smut link up and i wrote about it here.
so check it out.  let's do it.  not like "it" but like the link-up.