annual snooch check up

so adulthood. adult womanhood to be exact. it's a real thing.   like a real thing that includes yearly snooch check ups and getting felt up by someone who is practically a stranger.
so naturally the time came and went for my annual snooch tune up and along with the duck-billed platypus instrument that gets crammed up there and the awkward small talk during there comes the inevitable talk about any concerns i may have had.  and so i mentioned to her that a few times during said menstruation cycles i will have "break through bleeding" (sidenote - i really enjoyed forcing shitler to listen to my snooch tales because he didn't care but it was like he couldn't not listen and be completely grossed out/uncomfortable and if you need a visual of how i tell shitler stories that he doesn't care about it would be this GIF and obviously he's the cat and i'm the sloth).

but i digress.  because my gyno was all "we can switch you to another pill" and i was all "no thanks because i swear the one i'm on now is the only one covered by my insurance and i'm too cheap to pay for it because that would cut into other various, useless shit i buy on a regular basis."  and she was like "oooook?  so you're ok with bleeding?"  and i was like "well i don't like love it but it's better than before when i would bleed out for like four weeks time."  and she was like "touche."  and then i was like "i just think my menstrual cycle is too powerful and it can't be tamed with traditional means that work on other female cycles."  and then she looked at me like i was nuts and then burst out laughing.  and then she was like "i've never heard it described like that before.  i'm using it from it now on.  it'll be a power surge."  and i was all "we're a good team."  and then i high-fived her and said "see ya next year."

p.s. this year i won the no finger in the butthole lottery at my gyno.  this is my second year dodging that terrible bullet.  and don't act like i'm nuts for having this happen.  because people have questioned this and it's totally thing.  i googled it.

please regale me with your gyno appointment stories.
i need to be entertained.