i just wanted to come here and tell you all that i really, really like girls.
like especially girls that are similar to me in all my gluttonous ways.
like why even bother hiding the primal beasts that we all are at our very core? there's no point.
and the reason i'm talking about my beast tendencies is because tonight is the very biggest drinking night of the year. and i totally had plans to eat wings at my favorite bar down the street but then it turns out shitler has bowling, my one friend has a date, and my other friend is re-financing her home (SHE'S A DAMN GROWN UP) thus leaving me dateless for over-indulging on wing date. so instead the plan is to eat spicy hot chicken wings (probably twelve of them) and some haystack onion rings. then wash it all down with a family-sized bottle of wine while watching episodes of top chef that i've already seen like three too many times.
also my blanket scarf arrived this week.
so i'll just be hanging out in it. kissy duck face and all because i'll be wined up by myself.
also can we talk about how cat pictures literally tell the story of my entire life.
like after i consume the obnoxious amount of food that i have planned and also the wine i imagine i will look like this:
what do YOU have planned for tonight?
if you have nothing then join me by eating chicken wings
with me and we can snapchat about it.
it'll be fun. i promise.
p.s. happy bangs thanksgiving.
You have no idea how much I wish I could indulge in some Wings and Wine with you…
ReplyDeleteSoon… real soon!
Your second husband is home and looking for someone to hang with.
ReplyDeletewell tell him to get wings with me tonight.
Deletehe can DD me around, can't he?
I'd like to participate in the haystack onions. I'd like my wings to be smothered in BBQ sauce, and I'd like to sub wine for beer. Just because tonight I'm feeling frisky.
ReplyDeleteALSO - if you haven't already, watch Masterchef Junior. It is the greatest mind fuck of ALL time.
Lastly, I need glasses.
i want to do all the things with you.
Deletethat cat pic is ME!!!!
ReplyDeleteI am hosting this year for food prep and cleaning are my plans for Thanksgiving Eve. I sat down yesterday and wondered when I became an adult and then wondered what the hell I was doing hosting something AND putting myself in charge of the turkey and the dressing... for the first time ever. I would rather be drinking with you.... I can snapchat you my Turkey Day Prep fails for I am sure there will be many and I need someone to laugh with me.
ReplyDeleteI wish I could wear scarves. Fucking Florida sucks.
ReplyDeletemaybe just crank your AC and wear scarves around your house?!
DeleteI am going to stuff myself with sushi and hibachi with my family tonight. Then suck back large amounts of wine so I can be good and hungover while I stuff my face again tomorrow. Happy Thanksgiving!
ReplyDeleteI would like to eat twelve wings with you and drink wine forever, please and thank you goodbye.
ReplyDeletei'm going to visit you someday.
Deleteand you're going to like it.
and we're going to feast.
Your blanket scarf is amazing. Also FOOD.
ReplyDeleteWhat's your snapchat? I remember along the lines of cuntykitty or something but I can't remember the exact wordage. I need some funny snapchattage in my life.
ReplyDelete