because last minute crap is my jam

i bought shitler's xmas present yesterday. i wasn't actually going to get him anything but then he called me at work (yesterday) and said he had just got done getting my xmas present and then i was under my breath muttery (i just made that word up and i really like it so i'm going to use it more frequently) with "son of a bitch" and he was like "what did you say?" and i was like "nothing.  i don't want to talk anymore.  bye."  and then i was like "damn, damn, damn what the shit am i going to get him?"  and there's pressure here people because shitler says i'm terrible at giving gifts (but the joke is on him because i'm just terrible at giving him gifts).  and since i didn't have a spare four hundred doll hairz laying around getting him a PS3 (or 4 because whatever i don't even know what the fuck is the most current gaming system) was out of the question.  so really and truly you would think i would learn from my mistakes about last minute xmas shopping because everything is picked over and there's basically nothing available (but obviously i never do).  so it was just a matter of making do with what was available.  and when i had collected the assortment of gifts in my cart i was fairly confident that all were excellent gifts.  but feedback is always nice so naturally i asked a nearby sixty year old man if he would enjoy all the items if he received them as a gift.  and he told me yes.  so if one were to follow logic - if shitler enjoys these gifts then he's basically a sixty year old man.
now be a good sixty year old man and drink that glass of straight jim beam.