marriage advice

a few fridays ago i randomly had off from the restaurant. and it's super weird when that happens because i end up feeling like a normal person with a normal weekend.  but the feeling is so foreign (and few and far between) that i'm usually left perplexed and confused about what to do with a random night that doesn't involve work or something that's not already planned.  so when i got home and asked shitler what he wanted to do he replied with "wanna just get drunk or something?"  and i was like "that sounds nice; although pretty similar to what we normally do but ok it's friday and like 6PM so why not."  so we did.  and then shitler was like "i'm going to fuck around with my air soft gun."  and i was all "whatever; i don't even care."

and then shitler waxed on and on about what type of air soft gun it was.  but then it wouldn't work right.  and then he had to charge the batteries.

and then he had to remind me about how he bought it for like $10 on clearance at wal-mart.

and then it wasn't working right. so he re-loaded and practiced his aim.

and by this point in time i was at least four vodka presses in and beginning to get curious about air soft guns.  like mainly curious about how it would feel.  and shitler assured me that it didn't really hurt.  at least not that bad.  so shitler (a little too gleefully) suggested that he go like forty feet away and aim for my foot and then i would know what it felt like it.  so, like an idiot, i agreed.  and what's even more curious about the entire situation was that i was drunk enough to know that getting shot in the foot with an air soft gun was a bad idea but i was still drunk enough to know that i wanted to know what it felt like.

spoiler alert: it hurts like a bitch and will leave a giant, red welt on your foot.

and naturally i had over-served myself to the point where i couldn't figure out how to auto-focus and get a shot of the air soft gun induced welt so i don't even have anything to show for it.

which leads me to the point of this post: marriage advice.

DO get drunk with your spouse.
DO NOT let your spouse shoot you in the foot with an air soft gun.


p.s. shitler has incredible aim.  thank god.